


Kaneki-kun,

by asdfgjkl



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Minor Character Death, aka the one i hate and love the most, set during last manga arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-19
Updated: 2014-11-19
Packaged: 2018-02-26 04:05:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2637356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asdfgjkl/pseuds/asdfgjkl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't think you understand that if I had the chance to do it all over, I'd still choose this tragedy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kaneki-kun,

Kaneki-kun, I don't think you understand what a sad sight this is - the great Tsukiyama Shuu laying half-dead on a cement rooftop he has no business laying half-dead in. If you did, you might not have left as easily as an apology; a noble reason.

Kaneki-kun, you used me. I let you use me, hoping that would satisfy you. In hindsight, I realized how stupid it was for me to think that.

Kaneki-kun, I don't think you understand that I've done everything -  _everything -_ for you. I have pulled strings in both worlds; I have given up everything I prided myself on; I have ignored my desires;  _I have prioritized_ you  _over everything else_.

Kaneki-kun, could you please not ask me for the impossible?

Kaneki-kun, I don't think you understand how much I just need you to _stay_.

Kaneki-kun, I don't think you understand the difference between the first and second time I let you go.

Kaneki-kun, I think I had hoped you would come back the second time. 

Kaneki-kun, I remember the first rose I gave you, and all the others that followed. There is a vase in your room with a single flower that I still change every week, and I don't think you understand why I do it, do you?

Kaneki-kun, I think you understand this one clearly - every time I said I wanted to eat you; every time you thought I wanted to eat you,  _I did_. But Kaneki-kun, here's what you don't understand: with each passing day, it became less and less about tasting the best delicacy.

Kaneki-kun, I was just wondering - if I had claimed you as mine, would you still have left?

Kaneki-kun, I don't think you understand what it feels like to be acknowledged as a good, useful companion by a person like yourself.

Kaneki-kun, I don't think you understand what it feels like to lust for your trust either.

Kaneki-kun, since you're a bit slow on these things; since you probably still wouldn't understand anything even if you could read my mind and understand what you're not understanding, I'll just put it bluntly:

Kaneki-kun, I don't think you understand that I'm in love with you.

I don't think you understand how much you've cheated me over. I don't think you understand that I'd rather die stopping you than let you walk away. I don't think you understand that the half smile half frown you showed me before you left was the only thing standing in my way. I don't think you understand how much I wish to bottle up all your beautiful expressions and drown them in preservatives, like thousand year old fossils, so they would be the last thing I see before I die.

Kaneki-kun, I don't think you understand how willing I'd be to let you ruin me again if we had the chance to start over - over and over and over again, in a timeless loop.

**Author's Note:**

> oh tsukiyama you heart-breaker


End file.
